Thursday, August 21, 2008

Pretty postive it is hot where I am going

A few weeks ago the family took a trip to the Iowa State Fair. Good times had by all,

We visited the Cattle Barn, Horse Barn, Sheep Barn, Birthing Center and a little bit of everywhere else. L was FEARLESS. BIG, HUGE ASS BELGIN HORSES - BRING THEM ON! No fear - "I touch" to everything. The last barn we visited was the Pig Barn (not sure if that is what they truly call it). Anywho, for some reason L was freaked out by the 'piggies’ and would not touch them, even with my coaxing, pulling her arm and trying to force her to touch the pig's wet nose. Giving up, we move on to exit the barn. Completely oblivious to what is going on in front of her, just celebrating the fact that we let her out of the stroller to walk, I was able to say “L, look there is a piggy!” as it was running right for her, with the young 4-H’r trailing behind it. It might have been in those next few panic filled, screaming bloody murder moments as the pig brushed by her that her indescribable, over-the-top fear of pigs developed (or it could have been my attempt to pull her arm out of its socket trying to get her to just touch the pig prior). Just the mention of pig drives this child to look feverishly for her anti-anxiety pills.

Why the story? Fast forward to tonight, I took L on errands with me, hoping that providing this wild, short tempered (only a 20 minute nap, thank you cousin K) child a change of scenery might speed up the night. WHO THINKS LIKE THAT? (except a FRAZZLED MOTHER trying to have it all – career, friends (lunch with a girlfriend today) family and a little of ‘martha stewart’ baby shower planner). The entire Target store knew we were there and that sidekick was in a foul mood. I even tried bribing her with mini-oreos (which did nothing more than set her off even more when she couldn’t get ALL of the stuffing out of the cookie). So here is this child, end-of-day-food-stained attire, oreo-crap everywhere on her face, trying to climb out of the cart, SCREAMING about ANYTHING – frosting in the cookie, she wants that neckless, she wants the paci, she wants to ‘touch’ this toy/that toy. What does the parent of the year do? Nothing. We made it out of Target alive. BUT the Parent of the year (the one reference earlier, who wants it all) does try her luck and brings her to just ONE MORE STORE. (Apparently I had used my last brain cell in pouring the milk in her Fruity Pebbles diner earlier in the evening, I digress). In Stein Mart, after a scene similar to the one above, I am at the end of my rope so I say “L you had better sit down or I am going to take you to see the piggy’s”. Freak out follows, SCREAMING “I SCARED OF PIGGY’S” so I bust I out the back up line “If you keep screaming, they are going to know you are over here and find you”. She is now resolved to making herself as small as possible, whispering to herself “i scared of piggys” the entire rest of the shopping trip, even to the cashiers. All the way home “I scared of piggys”. Bedtime – pretty sure you figured it out.
Any bets on how many times she wakes up in the night?

(disclaimer: in my defense I didn’t realize the EXTREME extent of her piggy fear until tonight, I now know and will only use against her in EXTREME situations, like “DON’T RUN IN THE STREET, THE PIGGY WILL GET YOU”.)

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